And I didn't think there was a heaven.

Just goes to show why children don't get to be cynics yet.

Pyrat XO is an all around, truly fine Rum, and I'm not just saying this because I had some for breakfast. I first discovered it on recommendation from a BevMo employee who I trusted because BevMo is Paradiso for the Drinker, staffed with highly trained, Drinking professionals, experts in all things getting properly soused. I hear it's only a California thing, so for you out-of-staters, you may have something like it. It's as big as any Safeway, but filled with Happy Sauce, mixers and drinking paraphernalia.

The bottle convinced me it needed to be purchased right away, never mind the $35 price tag. I've paid more for worse, plus I couldn't help but to be wooed by the bottle's charming, portly design which reminded me of a rounded treasure chest with a nozzle. I don't usually go in or bottle gimmicks (I mean, how many ways can they embellish and overprice designer vodkas when they all taste the same?), but I did go in for the deep, dark color and the hand numbering on the side of the bottle. I also noticed that Pyrat was made by the same fine folks who make the glorious Tequila known as Patron. Yes, I know, yuppies everywhere have jumped all over Patron as if it were a J Crew sweater (or whatever it is yuppies wear), but Patron is still a great Tequila regardless of its increasingly trendy clientele.

Pleased with my purchase, I was tempted to drink it in the car on the way home, but I hear cops don't take well to that, so I sped home. I hear the cops don't like that either, but it's not like I'm running for president. When I got home, I almost tore the cork in half getting it out (perhaps I was too excited), but thankfully managed to avoid cork bits in the Rum. The smell hit me, a heavy, sweet aroma that almost smelled like honey or butterscotch candy, and it made me happy. And thirsty. It passed the color test, it passed the smell test, and now for the main course, the taste test.

With flying colors it passed Melzieroo's Rum Test #1™: It managed to have a delicately sweet flavor, without tasting saccharinely, syrupy sweet. That is how the Drinking gods intended Rum to be, and I was more than pleased as its gentle, sweet, lightly spiced flavor caressed my palate. Besides the pleasing sweet taste, it has been aged into an incredibly smooth, silky, molasses-hinted Rum that goes down with almost no bite at all. Flavor comes out of the woodwork, and dances on your tongue, hitting you so suddenly, it's difficult to distinguish them one by one. I reckon because it's made with a blend of nine different fantastic rums, ranging from 8 to 40 years old, and is then further matured in an oak barrel. The taste varies, including something that tastes like honey, then butterscotch, molasses, even a maple syrup type flavor, possibly orange? This blend comes together perfectly, delivering an intensely layered, meaningful Rum that leaves you feeling both fulfilled and tipsy. The aftertaste is light and sweet, the only chaser required being more Pyrat. This Rum is beautiful and smooth, from start to finish.

Cocktail recipe suggestions: None. If you diminish this Rum's flavor, the Drinking gods will smite you mightily. If you're planning a Tikistravaganza, please use one of Cruzan's mid-shelf rums and not this. Is Pyrat XO the best Rum there is? Not quite, but if you've begun your lifelong quest and have reached this point, you're definitely on the right track.

For all its beauty, flavor, richness and depth, I give Pyrat XO an enthusiastic 5 out of 5 Cocktail Shakers.