Jagged Little Pill by Alanis Morissette

A few years back I was in the middle of a developmental stage that included depression, coming to terms with my life to date, and feeling really sorry for myself. One day I was driving to work thinking about how terrible my life had been and really feeling good and sorry for myself. I had the radio on but I wasn't really listening. But the words from this song started to seep into my consciousness... I heard something like... it's not fair, the mess that you made and left me with; you oughta know! Now this isn't a direct quote from the song, You Oughta Know, but it's the message that sunk into my brain. I knew right away, I had to get this album!

Alainis Morissette's "debut" album Jagged Little Pill is an emotional and gut wrenching look at relationships gone wrong. She also examines the unrealistic expectations that were placed on her as a child. The situations from my personal life weren't quite the same as the vignettes painted by Morissette -- I was and still am happily married and she was dealing with a devastating breakup. But, the emotions were similar -- we both felt rejected, used, abused, and abandoned by people we loved and trusted. We each traveled a different road to get to our place in life, but our emotional state (well at least the one she portrayed in the album) were so similar it was almost scary.

I was so blinded by my emotional connection to the music that I could never be a good judge of it critically. When I first brought the album home, my husband said it was an excellent rock album. He felt it was a little over produced (oh how this criticism stung me at the time), but in general he was impressed with the music. At the time my husband had given up all hope on rock -- preferring to listen to Jazz and classical music. He said this album gave him a renewed hope that rock music might have a future. However, I played the album so many times -- over and over again -- that by the time I had emotionally outgrown the music he was sick of it and never want to hear the name Alainis Morissette whispered again.

I knew I was playing it too much when at a party a song from the record came on the radio. I was quick to point out that this was one of my favorites. "YES! WE KNOW!!!" several neighbors said in unison. "EEK!" I thought to myself.

But as happens in life, I continued in my spiritual and emotional growth. I came to a point where I no longer needed the album to validate and reinforce my emotional state and in fact I moved past the pain so it no longer haunts me as it did. Now Jagged Little Pill sits on my CD rack one of the CDs we don't play that often. But once in a while, when my husband isn't home I'll slip it into the CD player and enjoy the music just for the shear pleasure of the music. Jagged Little Pill is a great album -- even if you aren't tormented by inner demons.

PS: The word debut was in quotes because Morissette did release a pop/dance album in Canada prior to Jagged Little Pill. However, Jagged Little Pill is her first major release on a major label.