Ultimate Bitterness

Just got back from a ten day vacation in Southern California. Rather than fly, we chose to drive. Due to the deep and abiding distrust we have for our Buick Century, we chose to rent from Hertz, expecting the ubiquitous White Ford Taurus (a decent car, but one that doesn't happily accommodate three kids in the back seat).

We were surprised when, instead of the White Ford Taurus, we were presented with a brand-spanking-new Ford Five Hundred. At first we were concerned, as this car is one of those "bigger on the inside than on the out" numbers. It looks mid-sized from the exterior, but through some magical, Harry Potter-esque fiddling with the laws of physics, this car manages to be luxury size on the inside. All three kids comfortable in the back, and both adults well beyond comfy up front.

The Ford Five Hundred has some terrific features that made our trip that much more enjoyable:

**Comfy leather seats (optional)--the seats are well built with great lumbar support, soft without being mushy, and, in the case of the front seats, amazingly adjustable. In addition to tilting, raising, lowering, reclining, and moving forward and back, the passenger seat also collapses forward ala your average two-door. Oh, and the butt-warmers were nice, too.

**Raised seats--the seats sit higher than in most sedans of this size. In fact, the whole car sits up a fair bit, which does create the sensation of being somehow safer.

**Good leg room--front leg room rocked. Rear I didn't actually test, but I did have an eight year old sitting directly behind me for over 2,000 miles without the constant bumps and kicks into the back of my seat, so I'm interpreting that as a good amount of room. Certainly more than my Buick Century provides.

**Great stereo system--nice tone, good bass (without pulling a vibrating 808-type gig), with controls on the steering wheel. A six-CD changer system with MP3 capabilities is also available.

**Easy parking break system--instead of pulling a lever to release, a simple re-depression of the P-brake pedal releases the brake.

**TONS of convenient in-cabin storage--each door is equipped with a storage area (complete with soda/drink holder space). In addition, there are two drink holders adjacent to the gear shift (and two more drink holders in the back). An average glove box is provide, but there is also a "jockey box/armrest" between the front passengers with a cell phone charger jack (a second charger jack is on the dash below the stereo), CD storage slots, and spots for papers, change, etc. Sunglasses storage above the rear-view mirror, plus an in-dash storage compartment that pops open to accommodate maps, parking passes, etc. The back seat comes with a fold-down storage space between the outside seats (this remains folded up when there are three rear-seat passengers).

**Moon/Sunroof--this was great! I haven't had a moonroof in years, and I was so happy with this. Unlike my old Lincoln, this roof could either retract in moonroof fashion OR raise in sunroof style. Yes, I fiddled with it. A lot.

**Terrific "climate control"--it was so easy to get this car at the temperature desired. Between the eight vent settings, the adjustable temperature dial, and the rear-seat vents, it was a breeze to keep the car comfortable for all.

**Abundant interior lighting--two lighted mirrors in the sun visors, plus ceiling lights, glove box lights, and a very bright set of lights on the REAR ceiling (directly in front of the rear window) for the kids.

**Lighted entry touchpad--great for bypassing the tragedy of locked-in keys, but totally nuked my "if you want me to let you in, you'll dance" game. Can't make hubby dance if he can type his way back into the car.

**No locked-in keys--related to the above entry, the car automatically UNlocks itself if the keys are left in the ignition. In other words, if the car is turned off and the driver exits the car, the doors will unlock (over and over) until the keys are removed from the ignition.

**Keyless passenger entertainment--if the driver turns off the car and removes the keys, the stereo will continue to play until a door is opened, i.e., if the driver opens his/her door, then pulls the keys out, the stereo will continue to play. Good way to keep the teenagers entertained while keeping them from taking a joyride.

**Astounding trunk room--this car wins in the trunk space department. We were a bit worried when we first saw the car, but our worries were completely unwarranted. This (well-lit) trunk merrily accommodated three LARGE suitcases, a good-sized cooler, two smaller bags, two large comforters, two king pillows, four amusement parks' and a ghost town's worth of souvenirs, and STILL had room to spare.

**Cruise Control--the Five Hundred's cruise control was smoother and easier to use than our Buick's. Better automatic braking, better performance on hills.

**Computer--A fun little computer read-out on the dash (with steering wheel controls) that gives you trip statistics, miles traveled, miles left in the tank, average fuel mileage, and maintenance updates (like oil life).

**SAFETY--the other things listed above are nice, but where this car really shines is passenger safety. Driver and passenger front-impact airbags are standard, and come with technology designed to determine the size and needs of the passenger to better protect in the case of accident, i.e., sensors can determine if the passenger seat is occupied, and, if so, if the passenger is an adult, a child, or even a child in a carseat, and can then tailor response (or totally suppress response). While side-impact bags are available, fact is this car rakes in a FIVE STAR rating in side impact accidents WITHOUT the side-impact airbags. This is due to crush zones in common impact areas, a collapsible steering column for protection of the driver, a cross-car support beam under the front seats to direct destructive energy away from passengers, a front bumper plate, and dual-stage front air bags. There is a two-row "Safety Canopy" side air bag system with rollover sensor available for additional protection in both side-impact and rollover accidents.

For me, what I've listed above is enough to inspire desire for ownership. However, the car does have more to recommend it:

**Terrific performance--I was pleasantly surprised that the V6 in the Ford Five Hundred had a gang of pick-up on the highway. Without fail, this car passed smoothly and strongly, even on steep grades.

**Noise--this car is quiet! On more than one occasion, hubby accidentally tried to start it when it was already running because we couldn't hear the engine from inside. Unlike with older cars, the Ford Five Hundred doesn't give you the RIIIIINK of an angry starter motor when you try to start it while it's already running. However, to be completely honest, the engine is a bit loud when it's really being pushed, like in steep-grade passing situations. It's not unnaturally or obnoxiously loud, but you can definitely hear it when you're really gunning it.

**Mileage--the Ford Five Hundred gives a respectable (but not amazing) 29 mpg highway. Honestly, we got around 25 averaging our highway and city together.

**AWD available--our model was FWD, but AWD is available as an option, though that does drag fuel economy down by 3+ mpg.

Okay, so is there anything wrong with this car (aside from the price, lol)? Yeah, don't like to admit it, but yes, there are a few things:

**Appearance--it's not an ugly car, and it gets prettier the longer you drive it (that's love talking, I think). But it is a bit boxy, a bit blocky looking.

**Front tire clearance--this may be nothing more than an issue with Hertz and the tires it chooses, but our tires occasionally "chirped" off the wheel well when we were turning at sharp angles to park.

**Interior color--ours was "Pebble Leather," but I'd call it "Silly Putty." It was a really unnatural tannish/beige, and I wasn't very fond of it. However, there are numerous colors available, and some look quite nice.

Boy, I have gone on, haven't I? I realllly like this car. In fact, I did the research into safety not with an eye to writing a review but rather to buying the car. Unfortunately, the price puts it well out of my range; with the options I would want, this car would roll in at over $26,000.

Oh, well. A girl can dream.

****NOTE****
While I know that carseats and small children do NOT belong in the front seat, sad fact is that some people DO put carseats and small children up front, and the airbag sensors in the Ford Five Hundred are designed to detect that. I am not in any way advocating putting small children in the front seat of a car.