Embrace Of The Vampire - The Film Everyone Wants To See For Alyssa Milano's Assets

The title of this review says it all doesn't it? The film as a whole is quite boring, slow-moving and overall pretty silly. It does have Alyssa Milano in it, and she has some quite racy scenes. This of course was one of her first movies she'd been in for quite a while and most of us males who watched her grow up on Who's The Boss instantly have had at least a little bit of a crush on her ever since. Well, Alyssa sure didn't get ugly as she's aged.

The film is what I would call an erotic thrillerish type, but there aren't much thrills involved at all except Alyssa's nude scenes. The vampirish tale never really gets going throughout the movie. Apparently the age old vampire in the film (Martin Kemp), lost his ancient love long ago and now has found Charlotte (Alyssa Milano), who he thinks is her again I think. Quite an inventive and new storyline I know. For some reason if this vampire does not get Alyssa in three days he is going to die. Why, I do not know, although I'm sure I probably felt that way when I was a young teen watching her on television, but that's just being a young male teen. I certainly wouldn't make a movie about it.

With all vampire mythology thrown out the door, quite frankly the whole movie should have been too. However, each time you are about to turn off this film, out pops one of Alyssa's breasts. With such an outstanding body to go with her innocent good looks (something she seems to be perfectly cast for) I wouldn't be able to call myself a male if I didn't sit right back down and watch.

Alyssa Milano plays Charlotte, a strictly raised catholic school-girl type. A virgin, this whole movie is geared toward showcasing just how innocent Charlotte is before college. From her run ins with the college crowd and this pesky vampire threat, to her quick change into a black lipstick wearing goth lesbian who trips at parties (although the drugs aren't actually taken willingly).

While most people never really notice, there are other personalities in the film. As previously mentioned, Martin Kemp plays 'The Vampire'. Quite obviously a Brit, he comes across on screen as an actor trying really hard to take this role seriously. Perhaps two things were his motivation, his next paycheque, and the next scene with Alyssa. One problem with this character that happens so many times in lower budget vampire films (heck, even high budget ones) is that he can't talk properly with his teeth. I didn't even really notice him featuring prominent teeth in the film, but he talked with a lisp throughout the film and that really bugged me. Another problem I found with Kemp's role was that he just wasn't 'cool' or good-looking enough. It seems to me that a film of this nature would appeal to people who like 'vampire-erotica' type stuff. Therefore, the vampire should have been the sexiest guy in the film. This is not the case. Aside from him gobbling on Charlotte, no-one will really want to be like him at all. That isn't the case with the small cameo by Jennifer Tilly.

Ms. Jennifer Tilly, wow. She's not an outstanding beauty, her voice is weird, and heck, she can't even really act, but something about her emulates sexiness. Her small cameo as a seductive vampiress was one of the better scenes in the film, even though somehow the guy who hasn't had any sex in the whole movie summons some kind of intense will power and turns her down. Like I said, wow.

Another pretty descent looking actress in the picture is Rebecca Ferratti. Yes, we need to fill the film with at least one famous Playboy Playmate. She has a sensual role as a photographer who has the enviable task to photograph innocent Charlotte. This is one of the scenes everyone talks about. As a Playboy Playmate-turned actress, she does a pretty good job in the role. She does a better job than any of the other college students in the film (but isn't she a little old for campus life?).

Speaking of college, I should mention that the whole film basically takes place on a college campus where I think the goth scene may have gotten a little out of hand. Aside from a few vampiric flashbacks, we are all presented with college life, the parties, dorms, lesbian sex, sex in the dorm showers, sex at parties, sex in some back alley, it goes on and on.

Harrison Pruett, Rachel True, and Jordan Ladd are the main college student crowd we are introduced to. Pruett does a fine job of not staring at Alyssa's chest throughout the movie and somehow gets his lines off. He's at least a better looking and 'cooler' kid than the Vampire Kemp. It's because of him that Martin Kemp probably came off as old, and not so good looking or cool. Ms. True (of The Craft fame) seemed cast as a giggly co-ed that is friends with everyone and has no personality whatsoever. Jordan Ladd's character Eliza could have been much better if they used her a little more. Her uptown bad girl routine was fun at times, but the final confrontation between her and Charlotte was such a letdown.

Overall, an absolutely horrendous film actually. The only reason people have ever heard of this film, or *GASP* can even state that they enjoyed it are Ms. Milano's plentiful nude scenes.